I
don’t believe people are looking for the meaning of life as much as
they are looking for the experience of being alive.~
Joseph Campbell
I always find myself doing a knee-jerk
when someone asks me or the general population around me, as in
Facebook, to pray for him/her. When I was a little girl I lost that
part of my brain that believes in ghosts, goblins, angels, or god. I
began to think that if there was a god, he was must be mischievous
and sadistic. You see, I was brought up in a home with constant
turmoil. I had a father who was so overwhelmed with his fate he
stayed away from home as long as he could and drank a quart, yes a
quart, of whiskey every day and a mother who fought internal demons
and took her frustration and pain out on the only two people around
her. Since my dad wasn't around much, I was the one who took the
brunt of her exasperation.
While my friends were thinking of proms
and other school activities I was reading the bible and philosophy
books. I found myself there, imagining that I was trapped in a
bottle, kind of like a ship in a bottle, and was part of some big
experiment. 'Let's do this or that to her to see how she'll react.' I
was literally being driven crazy. I ran upon Letters from the
Earth by Mark Twain. At one point he is questioning the suffering
of children and how a god, who could save them, would let them
suffer. I even considered suicide as an escape plan. One night, I
looked up at the stars and prayed for deliverance. But what happened
next is I took charge of my life, became of age and left—for good.
I never went back. For those who believe in the god or fantasy would
say that my prayers were answered. For me, I took charge of my life.
I look around. The internet has brought
so much more of the world to our foreground. I see tortured pets and
children, war, war crimes, (actually, war is a crime). While looking
at all this, I also see love, in my own life as well as all around
me, I see wonderful people out there reaching out to those tortured
children and pets, reaching out trying to stop war, going in diseased
areas trying to put an end to suffering, famine, and hunger. The
Yin-Yang truly represented.
So, what is prayer to someone like me?
Someone who doesn't believe that some powerful being is listening?
I believe that faith equals confidence,
a positive outlook on life. People blindly follow other people
exhibiting self-confidence. Trusting in one's instincts and abilities
aids in going on each day. A confident person emerges from a crowd in
a full forward stride. Situations are analyzed, questioned, then
decisions are made and there is no second guessing. It's like going
through a traffic light. If it turns yellow, don't stammer, make a
decision.
I believe that hope is a happy
anticipation of a good outcome. Hope is looking for the positive,
that white dot in the middle of the black. Optimism reigns here. The
glass is half full. Rain brings not weeds but new life.
I believe that prayer is thinking
positively of a person. Prayer is happy anticipation that someone can
beat the odds. Confidence that their personal power will overcome
whatever odds and/or pain s/he may be experiencing.
Angels are those people who go out and
work in the world to ease others' pain: nurses, volunteers, people
who rescue animals, people who go to those areas of the world to help
those in need, people who work in nursing homes, people who work with
other people suffering from severe mental or physical handicaps.
Miracles
are things that come about against the odds. What we feel is normal
or average makes those things that are outside that norm—so awesome
that we call them miracles. They are simply in a long line of the
continuum of possibilities. She will never walk again--then she does.
He won't live past age two, he's now 20. It is a miracle, to me, that
we exist at all among all these stars, planets, and rocks. It is a
miracle that I can see it, feel it, experience it. It is a miracle
that I found my life mate among millions and millions of people.
For me, and possibly others like me, who do not
believe in an anthropomorphic supreme being (god), are there angels?
Is there faith, hope and prayer and awe in this vast world of
wonders? My answer, while down to earth and tangible, is yes.
