Empty

My house is so empty

I went out to the shop and he wasn't there piddling around like he always was doing.

He was always doing, fixing or creating something.

His imagination surrounds me in his decorations and creations.

My heart aches.

I'm making my dogs sad.

I find myself sitting and staring.

I found Odin, my big dog looking at me concerned.

Cassie is nervous and is chewing on things.

I keep reliving those moments of futile efforts of CPR,

His nonreactive face.

It's easier to talk to strangers than it is to talk to friends.

I'm having bad days, why should I make their day bad?

My body keeps vibrating.

When will it stop vibrating?

Lost

Thoughts we shared to prepare for this
I really could have missed
Was not supposed to become a reality
My mind is a maze, all jumbled and cloudy
But here I sit
In a dark pit.
Keep doing things that are objective
Keeping at bay the subjective

Paper whirlwinds

Surround my spirit as it bends

Appointments, deeds, money, wills

The doctor prescribed some pills

Sleep deprived

Thoughts spin around and collide

My body vibrates

My soul, it violates

Catching up slowly

Trying to attack the world boldly

My mind is a maze and I'm lost

As my emotions frost

Multitude of things I misplace

My soul, my being is displaced

Crying by myself feels weird

Crying in front of people is my fear
Gone is my love, my dear, my soul mate
Solemn sadness is the weight.

--Kamala