Monday, August 31, 2015

Empty

My house is so empty
I went out to the shop and he wasn't there piddling around like he always was doing.
He was always doing, fixing or creating something.
His imagination surrounds me in his decorations and creations.
My heart aches.
I'm making my dogs sad.
I find myself sitting and staring.
I found Odin, my big dog looking at me concerned.
Cassie is nervous and is chewing on things.
I keep reliving those moments of futile efforts of CPR,
His nonreactive face.
It's easier to talk to strangers than it is to talk to friends.
I'm having bad days, why should I make their day bad?
My body keeps vibrating.

When will it stop vibrating?

Saturday, August 29, 2015

Lost

Thoughts we shared to prepare for this
I really could have missed
Was not supposed to become a reality
My mind is a maze, all jumbled and cloudy
But here I sit
In a dark pit.
Keep doing things that are objective
Keeping at bay the subjective
Paper whirlwinds
Surround my spirit as it bends
Appointments, deeds, money, wills
The doctor prescribed some pills
Sleep deprived
Thoughts spin around and collide
My body vibrates
My soul, it violates
Catching up slowly
Trying to attack the world boldly
My mind is a maze and I'm lost
As my emotions frost
Multitude of things I misplace
My soul, my being is displaced
Crying by myself feels weird
Crying in front of people is my fear
Gone is my love, my dear, my soul mate
Solemn sadness is the weight.
--Kamala